T.G.I.F.

Its finally here! The day we've all been waiting for...Friday, plus we get our report cards and alot of people are mad scared and nervous...welp at least my mother doesn't know about it. Anyhoo, I'm gonna be home alone for like the longest when I get home today and I don't want to be. Hopefully I'll be with him. Its been a while so it'll all go well, hopefully. Its seems as though its slowly going back to normal and that's the way it should be. And I think hes happy right now so thtas good too. Being the last, most boring but fun day of the week, I don't have much to write about. My week was pretty good though, a bit complicated but still good. I'm glad that I'm not gonna cut him off...We have too many memories and such a good relationship to let all of that go cause of one person..though he cares about her. Anyhoo, my mind is too blocked to write about anything. I'm hoping to go shopping this weekend and babysit my adorable baby cousins. Welp nithing else on my mind and the periods almost over sooo...SimplyPut...T.G.I.f

Distance

Why everything has to be so complicated? Why does is seem like it was much easier when we didn't tell each other how we felt? Why does it feel like somethings still between us? I just want to know the answers because Isure as hell don't. And now I'm thinking maybe we should put some distance between us. I mean it's just too close for comfort and his girl reallt don't like me, so I need anymore drama. Plus its just ridiculous to be jealous, he's your man you gotta put your faith and trust in him. She can't be getting mad every time she see me with, we're just real close ex's .Maybe too close, but its not like its illegal. Hmmm, cutting off all communication will just beak my heart though. I just want it to go back to one month ago, where me and him were perfect and he wasn't really in the picture. When we were both just happy...I'm not saying I'm not happy now but its a complicated type of happiness...SimplyPut...Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder

Apologizes

Just another normal day, that started with a normal morning and normal classes...and then BAM! I have a completely new thought of him in mind. Although his life is complicated and confusing, I still don't think that that was a good enough reason. I mean everyones life is complicated and as hard as I tried to help him and understand him all he did was block me out...and now he apololgizes. Yup, wrote me a two-page letter explaining everything that happened in his point-of-view, apologizing and saying I deserved much better than that. And obvouisly being the type of person I am, I have to talk to him and get everything out and just finally end it and hopefully let go of the past and start over. Thats all I wanted to do in the first place and he knows thats the type of person I am. Just to say sorry and forget about it. I mean I'm always gonna feel some type of way toward him and maybe he'll always feel some type of way toward me but with all this tension and unspoken thoughts its gonna stay the same way with dirty looks and so much hatred. Welp, I have nothing more to say on the matter until we actually talk about it so...SimplyPut...Forgive&Forget

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa, well I confess...I haven't been the nicest this year. In defense, alot of stuff ended up happening but it shouldn't affect my Wishlist. As the holidays approch, I'm starting to be on a holiday high. The spirit, the happiness, the  love and happiness all around. I just love the feeling of Christmas. In other news though, I feel really guilty...I mean I never wanted to come between him and his girl. I've never been the type...but I guess we both can't deny that there's still something between us...And what with him, when everything seems as if they're starting to go back to normal...Sigh its just confusing me a bit. Hopefully everything will work out soon before things get too crazy. Other than that lifes been pretty good, well at least I'm breathing and familys coming up soon, so I'm pretty happy right now. See Santa I can be good. SimplyPut...Happy Holidays=)

Good Days

Such a good day so far. I loved waking up to the light snow falling on the ground and the sun shining warmly in my face. I've had this smile on my face for a while now. But unfortunately I have no inspiration to write about anything today. I think my blog is gonna be about life...advice, the ups and downs, everything pretty much. Hmmm...I really have nothing to say. Our relationship got stronger over the past few weeks and I kinda like that...non-stop talking, always smiling when I see him; so its pretty much good with him right now but I need my relationship to be like that...or at least how it used to be...and for some reason I'm not stressing it as much as I was before, maybe on some level I know everthings gonna be okay. Anyhoo...this class is so funny today...I have no idea what I'm writing about today. A whole bunch of crap is coming out my mind and onto the screen. I'm just to happy to think about anything. I don't know why though...especially on a Monday. Sigh, welp I think I'm done here. Since I have nothing profound to write about.SimplyPut...LiveLaughLove

Ex Friends

I'm pretty sure everyones had those days where they just really don't wanna do anything...well thats pretty much been my week. As the end of the marking period approches, I'm not stressing as much as I usually do...even though I don't think I did as good as last semester but anyhoo Im not stressing that right now. I've been in a good mood so far and I hope it stays that way. Just kinda blank today like spaced out in class and whatever...So I heard some news about an old friend today and honestly I feel really sorry for her. I mean shes in a class where she can only get her GED and I know shes so much smarter than that but shes always cutting school to be with her boyfriend. I mean if she gets pregnant where is that boyriend gonna be, I mean seriously. It saddens me though because we used to be super close and after so much drama I was the only one there for her trying to keep her on track and now this is where we end up. Well I can honestly say I really did try to help he out so whatever happens is on her now. One thing I absolutely hate is losing a good friend...especially someone you've been though alot with. Reminds me of someone else I've lost. In defense he fuckd up and maybe I did too in some type of way but I sill hate what happened even though he deserved it. On a better note...its finally the weekend and hopefully I'll be able to see my loved one. And leaving this smile on is my priority for the rest of the day:)SimplyPut...Life Is Simple, Its Just Not Easy.

Teen Years

Its funny how we all complain bout how our life sucks, and as teenagers thats what most adults expect from us. Truth is life is great...sure there are pressure and drama and school but just think about how much harder its gonna be when were 30 with a job, kids, bills to pay, people to support etc. Most of our drama these days are relationship problems and personally we're gonna have much less heartaches and tears that we spend on them today...it's not the biggest part of life. Some teens work and support there family putting alot of weight on there shoulder but it still makes them happy. Personally. I think we should just enjoy the days we have. We wake up on a beautiful day, to the sun shining and the birds chirping and a vastly great blue sky. I have to look up each day and say "Thanks God, for letting me see another beautiful day" and just put a smile on my face. And school's not as bad as we make it seem, we have our good friends, we have to work, how else are we gonna make it in life and obviously we're gonna have drama but thats all part of life. I mean I just got beat up in the hall and I'm not shedding a tear or complaining about it, it was actually pretty fun, even though two boys one on girl is'nt the fairest fight, but I still have a smile on my face. And even though my school's super ghetto and have to have like 100 security and scanning every couple months and as much as I hate this hellhole I'm grateful for everything that lead me here. Basically, todays good day and I'm keeping this smile on my face. SimplyPut...Live Life To The Fullest Cause You Never Know If There's Gonna Be A Tomorrow.

Rainy Days...

Days like today make me wanna lay in bed cuddled in the sheets with hot chocolate...unfortunately I had to go to school and deal with whatevers going on in my head these days. So I pretty muched haven't talked to anyone all day...I'm in the mood to cut everybody off today and keep my headphones on and block out the world. Its hurting me so much that this is the position we're in right now...how can everything so perfect crash and burn in just one month? I don't know what I want or what to think anymore. Its just too hard. I can't keep this smile on all the time. I just wanna break down and cry and show that I'm not perfect and I'm tired of trying to be....Why does life have to be so complicated? I'm 15 not 25. I should be able to laugh and actually mean it and instead I'm looking for an escape of reality and stressing everything that enters my life. The rain today feels like all the tears I've been holdong back for a while now.Like its just a downpour of hurt, stress and pain....If only this day can go by faster...SimplyPut...Finding An Escape Is'nt The Easiest Thing To Do Sometimes Its Better To Face Problems Head-On...